Tuesday, October 13, 2009
I am beginning to slowly comprehend what it means to be pregnant with child #4. Yes you are reading correctly. I am 3 months pregnant. The way I looked with amazement at the stick is the same way you are looking at your screen right now. Here is a brief list of the comments I have received:
-Have you ever heard of birth control? (my mother?!)
-Whose is it? (My husband)
-Don't you know how to keep your legs closed? (almost stranger)
-There won't be enough toys. Two babies are enough. (My eldest)
-Pregnant silence (many)
I always said I wanted at least 4 children and I do feel blessed that God heard me. But after number 3 I was on the fence about having another child. With all that is going on in our family right now I just couldn't see how it would work. It was a complete and utter surprise that I would be blessed with the opportunity to carry another child. It took me a while to get over the negative comments and lack of joy this news brought. Some reactions were hurtful and stung but I have moved on.
Because I am a mother of 3 my day becomes busy pretty quickly. I am overwhelmed by the responsibility of shaping the hearts and minds of my children and the practical details of their life at times. I found that a whole day could go by and I would not have given any thought to the life that is slowly growing inside of me. At times I didn't feel pregnant and at other times when the nausea railroaded my body it is all I could think about. Now as a lay in bed at night I touch that small soft spot on my stomach and try to think about this new life. I pray for health for the baby. I try to give this new life a few moments of my day. Pray for our family as we make room for this new life. There is a lot going on in our lives right now and this may seem like such a whirl wind of a time to have a baby. I know that God has a plan for our lives and all I can do is trust him. Wish us blessings, we need them.