SAHM- I am

There are days when I wonder if giving up a promising career as an elementary school teacher was the smart path to take.  These doubts are also partnered with negative comments and stereotypes from others.  Many of those comments center around identity and ambition. Join me at Blissfully Domestic today where I will explore the issue of identity and ambition as a stay at home mom.

How does your identity sit with you? I would love to hear from you!

I'll Keep You

"I'll keep you forever.  And even when you die I will keep you."  Cohen 4.75 years old


Love stories are not just between man and woman, but also between mother and son.  My son woes me with his words.  His expression of gratitude stirs my thoughts.  Thoughts of God's blessings for our family.  

 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your sons will be like olive shoots  around your table. Psalm 128:3 (New International Version)

My son is very active.   The kind that wakes up running out of bed every morning.  He runs constantly.  He runs to the bathroom, downstairs to grandma, to the kitchen, to sit in his chair.  He never stops.  My son unravels me.  I like my mornings calm and quiet.  Not much to say, more to reflect and plan.  I get up early so I can hold the quiet.  I cherish it and sit with it until I hear those racing footsteps.  Cohen has landed.  


I was the quiet, hands folded, ankles crossed, ribbons in your hair kind of child.  I knew how to be quiet and how to be still.  My mother rarely had to discipline me in public.  Her look was enough to quiet any mischief that stirred in my heart.  I was so mindful of her and her expectations.  How very opposite my son and I are.  I struggle to meet his need for speed and action.  I struggle to sit with his constant need for movement.  Sometimes I wonder if someone is more perfect for him.  Is there someone out there who he could get to sit with his running?  


Then his words come floating into the room.  A reminder that God has chosen me.  He has chosen me to guide our boy's steps and nurture his heart.  I take in the gracious words.  In big mouthfuls.  I let his words swirl like a poplar seed into my heart.   My heart grows love for his boy.  The dawn to dusk action still throws me.  But I'll keep him too.  We were made for each other.

"One of the characteristics of the olive tree is the production of sprouts at its base...(I)n Bible days olives were often grown directly from the sprouts. The olive farmer would select sprouts from his best trees, carefully remove them, and plant them where they would be carefully tended. Psalm 128:3 may be a reference to this practice-"your sons will be like olive shoots round your table". http://www.odu.edu/~lmusselm/plant/bible/olive.php

Photo property of author and used with permission.

I'll Be Coming Down the Mountain

Moses and Mothers Press On

I kept him with us that Sunday.  He loves his Sunday School class.   The pastor talked about persevering with our children.  Soon after, I felt his little hand take mine and wrap it around his waist without a word.  The pastor continued to talk about Moses and his failures.  She reminded us that Moses kept on going.  He got frustrated with the Israelites but he kept on going.  There are many days that I want to press stop.  I would even settle for a pause.  Every mother knows you can't run away from home.  You have to come back down that mountain like Moses did to face what they have been up to.

Getting the News

Exactly 4 years ago to that Sunday (June 6, 2006) we found out that we would be parents.  We didn't have to wait for a stick or wait for a doctor's phone call.  Our news came from a social worker.  My husband picked me up from my teaching job that afternoon.  I knew the social worker had already given him the answer.  As I got into the car I eyed my husband anxiously.  His mouth opened with these horrific words, "They went with someone else."  My heart sank and then it lifted a little.  I saw a spark of mischievousness in his eyes.  "I'm just joking.  They picked us."  Just like that we became parents.  Four years ago on 06/06/06 I entered the motherhood.

Life

The number 666 used to worry me.  The day my husband broke the news to me, we were on our way to sign mortgage papers. We couldn't help but share our news with the world.  The lawyer that was helping us was delighted for us.  I told her about my uneasiness about the number 666.  She explained that she is Jewish and that 666 added together was 18.  This number 18 signified life - Chaim.  So many lives were getting a new start.

Like Moses I often come down the mountain to find disappointment and chaos.   However, sometimes I witness moments when my son wraps my arm around him like a soft scarf protecting him from the lifeless cold.