I dragged my heart here. Earlier this month I told my friend that I had committed to praying for her marriage, our mutual friend's marriage and my marriage every Monday. Today I came like a toddler with my feet dragging and my heart hidden. I didn't want to pray for marriages on a day when all I did was feel faint with the disappointment of my own marriage. But I hated to break a promise.
Echoes of arguments and images of angry hurt faces reeled through my mind. I just wanted to be alone with my disappointment and anger. The day was about to shut when my eyes searched the blank screen of my computer. This is where I let words fall for God to pick up. I thought of googling some important question I had about my new business venture and then my eyes fell once again on the blank screen. The words fell. With each word my heart lightened. The hope that I couldn't see earlier was making a quiet appearance. In holding up my friends in prayer God picked me up.
I thank you Lord for:
-seeing the worth in me even when I can't bear to look at myself
-Cohen's intelligent questions
-picking up my brokenness and disappointment
-the mystery of praying for others
-the peace that prayer brings to my heart
-Kiran's clear lungs
-reminding me to listen to you when the words fall
-my circle
-Hannah's bright eyes
-dinner with my mom and the fab four
-Ella-Shilloh's chuckle
-brave friends
