Last week I ran my first official 5k race. I spent the past 3 months preparing for this race. This included running 3 times a week and cross-training 3 times a week. I tried to eat clean and maintain a healthy mind. When the day came for the race my mother and my four children joined me with as much excitement and anticipation as I had. Watching the other women I saw that though we were on the same course we are not all running the same race.
Another realization I had with separation and divorce was how much I looked to others to meet my desires. I remember having this strong need to belong from an early age. I tried to have my friends, family, children, and marriage fill this need. As a result of my separation I recognized this time in my life as an opportunity to accept that my fulfillment and desires cannot be completely satisfied by others. I have had to sit with desires for companionship and belonging amongst others and place them in the hands of God. I recognized that God alone can completely fill these desires. When I look to others to fill them I will always ask of them what they were not meant to give.
Like my race that was literally pooped on, I can't expect to go through this separation and not encounter some poop. Sometimes the poop has to sit with you for a while. At the end of the race I joined my family, drank lots of water and almost forgot to wipe the poop off my leg. The thing that almost stopped me in my tracks became manageable in the end.