Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Cultivating the Life God Desires- A Renewing Heart

As I read Ann Voskamp's blog about Easter I am reminded of renewal. This evening at church we had our prayer meeting. To be honest I am sometimes motivated to do "church stuff" because I enjoy the company of other people. It is not always for the right reasons. I was even afraid that I would fall asleep. This was a plausible outcome because I have 9 more days to go in this pregnancy and I feel that I could fall asleep at any moment and anywhere. I went anyway, and was pleasantly surprised when God revealed something to me.

We are praying for Renewal, Revival and Awakening in our church. I heard the sermon about why we are doing this but it didn't have meaning for me until tonight. I thought about all the road blocks in our family's opportunity for renewal. To name a few, my husband's illness, my difficulties with parenting and anger, and the challenges of a fourth child. Sometimes I get caught up in the disappointments of the day like arguements with my husband about- well every little thing. I get distracted by over disciplining my children. I forget to ask God to sprinkle some dirt and water on my tired and weak heart. I forget in between those moments to whisper a renewing prayer asking God to take over the desires of my heart. In the process the grace that I need to pass on to my kids is gone and the compassion that I should have growing in my heart towards my husband has wilted away.

Titus 3:4-5 (The Message)

3-8It wasn't so long ago that we ourselves were stupid and stubborn, dupes of sin, ordered every which way by our glands, going around with a chip on our shoulder, hated and hating back. But when God, our kind and loving Savior God, stepped in, he saved us from all that. It was all his doing; we had nothing to do with it. He gave us a good bath, and we came out of it new people, washed inside and out by the Holy Spirit. Our Savior Jesus poured out new life so generously. God's gift has restored our relationship with him and given us back our lives. And there's more life to come—an eternity of life! You can count on this.

I was reminded at the prayer meeting that God wants to renew my weak and tired heart daily. In growing a new heart God can change the stubbornness of my will, the coolness of my attitude and the quick flicking anger that stirs in the pit of my stomach.

Lord as I go to sleep, put to sleep my old, tired, bitter, hasty heart. In the morning let me rise with a heart that is new, alive, and growing according to your plans for my day. Help my heart to inspire those around me to reach out for you and your promise of renewal.

Thank you.

1 comment:

Dianne said...

I love your precious, transparent heart. And with a heart that is willing to be renewed in all the areas you wrote about, God will honor that.

Don't forget seedtime and harvest--the seeds are planted but it takes TIME for them to grow and mature and become the complete fruit God intended.

So with us-- BUT I have every confidence that you will grow day by day and be renewed into the kind of parent and wife you want to be.