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Thursday, December 23, 2010

It Just Isn't Cool!

I have been harbouring this hatred in my heart for a week now and I need to release it.  You know the feeling when the very sight of something just sets you off.  You see it in the corner of your eye and you must close your eyes just to get through the rest of your day?  Well I have such a feeling about something I don't even want to name.

Cool Whip.
How appropriate for these two to co-habitat. 

Two tubs that have more in common than you know!  

Shameless!

There I said it and I never want to say those words again.  Well maybe just for today.  I am sorry for the millions of people I am about to offend.  I just can't take it anymore.  I feel so passionate about this that I wish they could just ban the stuff.  It is false advertising and it makes me sick.  You can't make a light soft drink and hide caffeine in it.  So why can you make an oil product and then masquerade it around as a dairy product?  I'm just saying... well asking.  It's wrong people.

This all started when my mother asked me to make my trifle for her work party.  I love making trifle it is is super easy, pretty and delicious!  I gave my mother the list of things I needed over the phone.  When it came time to discuss the whipping cream I went into great detail.  It must come from a carton in the dairy section right next to it's cousin half and half.  It must make a sound when you shake the carton and it must CERTAINLY not come in a tub!

I thought I was clear.

My mother arrived with the ingredients for the trifle and lounging in the plastic bag were 2 tubs of cool whip.  I have no words... well maybe just a few.  I mean how could she bring that impostor here.  First it was the fake butter.  And now this.  I think my mom is trying to kill my passion for food.  I'm not sure why.  But the Cool Whip must go.  This house isn't big enough for anymore tubs!

(By the way if you want the Cool Whip let me know and I will give it to you.  As long as you live locally you can have it! I promise I won't judge you - openly.)

I just exhaled.  I feel so much better.

5 comments:

Amy said...

I prefer homemade whipped cream, but...in a pinch...I've been known to consume Cool Whip by the spoonful. *hangs head in shame*

Mike and Katie said...

Ha, ha, ha! She sounds just like my mom! Real whipped cream is amazing! I've only made it on accident when I was trying to make butter in the blender.

Crystal said...

OMGosh you are cracking me up! Seriously, hilarious!!

Merry Christmas!

Alida said...

when we moved to Russia one of the things I missed was Cool Whip... but I learned how to whip cream from scratch and I was converted. Buh-bye Cool Whip!

Following you back :-)

Joy & blessings,
Alida

The Mom Chef said...

I'm a firm believer in home made whipped cream and always have heavy whipping cream in the fridge. BUT, that being said, the real deal doesn't stand up to some dishes (like trifle) the way that Cool Whip does. Given time, it slowly resumes it's original form; liquid. So, I also have been known to break out the tub when I'm making a dessert that has to look good for a lengthy period of time.