Let The Words Fall

I dragged my heart here.  Earlier this month I told my friend that I had committed to praying for her marriage, our mutual friend's marriage and my marriage every Monday.  Today I came like a toddler with my feet dragging and my heart hidden.  I didn't want to pray for marriages on a day when all I did was feel faint with the disappointment of my own marriage.  But I hated to break a promise.


Echoes of arguments and images of angry hurt faces reeled through my mind.  I just wanted to be alone with my disappointment and anger. The day was about to shut when my eyes searched the blank screen of my computer.  This is where I let words fall for God to pick up.  I thought of googling some important question I had about my new business venture and then my eyes fell once again on the blank screen.  The words fell.   With each word my heart lightened.  The hope that I couldn't see earlier was making a quiet appearance.  In holding up my friends in prayer God picked me up.


I thank you Lord for:
-seeing the worth in me even when I can't bear to look at myself
-Cohen's intelligent questions
-picking up my brokenness and disappointment
-the mystery of praying for others
-the peace that prayer brings to my heart
-Kiran's clear lungs
-reminding me to listen to you when the words fall
-my circle
-Hannah's bright eyes
-dinner with my mom and the fab four
-Ella-Shilloh's chuckle
-brave friends

Awakening to Gratitude

Today I was stirred by a beautiful song by Chris Tomlin, Awakening.  It reminded me to let God wake me from the my distractions, business, and desires.  I appreciate when a simple song can remind us that God needs to be our alarm clock.  We should allow God a place by our bedside where he can speak into our ear the things and desires we have been sleeping through.  In my case I tend to focus on the tasks at hand and the stresses in my life.  I hear God telling me "wake up and see the good I have sprinkled into your life".  I feel his hand turning me to face the good in my life when I want to curl up and face the corner of darkness behind me.  This is my awakening.


Thank you God for:


-awakening to gratitude
-a great Father's Day Lunch with all four children that was void of tantrums, tears, and tension
-my newborn's gummy smile
-beautiful worship music that stirs
-Hannah's potty success (look mommy no diapers)
-awesome message from Brett Ullman (wow)
-reminding me that I am my children's first messenger of your love
-Cohen's sales talent
-a late night with friends, their spouses, and the best brownies ever
-a stress free High Tea
-Kiran's love for his siblings
-Your love for me





Join me and many others as Ann Voskamp  reminds us to give thanks!




Join me at Blissfully Domestic today.  My post is evidence (for my frommies- mommy friends)  that I am committed to going green- one hue at a time.  Today I will talk about my journey on the cloth diaper trail.  I learned that going green benifits the pocket book as well as the environment.  If you want a more detailed look at cloth diapers and want to check out my review of Wee Ones cloth diapers have a look at my new Check It Out page at this blog.  Stay tuned for my reviews on some summer products distributed by Urban Bubbles.

Resting at the Bluffs

We began before we met.  A phone conversation lit the spark.  He tells me that it was my feisty spirit that pulled him in.   I was unaware of what was happening until I saw him face to face.  Something about that first meeting made me feel heavy inside.  My stomach stood at attention and took note.

That first meeting he purposely walked in my view.  He remembers long wild curly hair amongst other things.  I remember boyish smiles for days, eyes that couldn't lie and quick steps.  Soon after I arrived I am invited to movies, dinners and other outings.  I mention I have plans.  I am not sure of him.  There was intensity in his company.  I had day dreams about meeting The One.  They moved much slower and lighter than this.

I often try to pinpoint when I fell.  I remember, being sick.  My nose dry, my throat hoarse and tight, my body limp from the flu.  He arrived with a plastic bag and exposed the contents on my couch.  A magazine, cold medication, throat lozenges, limp balm, orange juice and chocolate.  I looked at him that day and had no words.  There was a heaviness in my stomach and a flicker in my heart.

He was strong and capable.  He induced a feeling of protection and security.   I watched him carry our mountain bikes up the bluffs.  Confidence grew.  He could take care of things.  He could take care of me.  The openness in his voice, the vulnerability in his story and the willingness to please appealed to me.  Our prayers on the phone in the morning, our bike rides to the bluffs, and shared passion for great food, led me to my best friend.  

Looking back brings me to a time when I felt the sunshine on my face.  Closing my eyes for a moment I call back what is resting at the bluffs.

Join Ann Voskamp as she explores the spiritual practice of holy matrimony.

What do you see when you look back?

Keith Urban - Once In A Lifetime

I close my eyes and  I see you standing right there Saying “I do” and  they’re throwing rice in our hair Then the first one’s born,  then a brother comes along  and he’s got your smile I’ll be looking back at  the life we had still at your side So don't fear it now; we're going all the way Where the sun is shining  on a brand new day It's a long way down,  and it's a leap of faith Keith Urban

I Gave up Television for Contentment

 I am at Blissfully Domestic today.  Here is a little synopsis of what I am talking about over there.  Hope you enjoy.


My husband has mentioned that I have the taste of a 13 year old.  He is mainly speaking about my television watching.  I am not one of those "smart" television viewers.  I do like to watch "garbage".  You know what I mean, TMZ, The Hills and The Bachelor to name a few.  (I hope I haven't offend any of you.)  Because of the television I watch my desires and  expectations were being changed.  When I gave up television things started to change.  Visit me at Blissfully Domestic while  I talk about what happened when I followed God's leading.  

(That is a picture of me at the age of 14 in Ottawa, Ontario.  Surprisingly I didn't watch much television at this age.) 

Matrimonial Seasons

I join Ann Voskamp on this difficult journey to "consider the spiritual practice of holy matrimony."  When you are in the winter season of your marriage you want to shy away from it and look in another direction.  When you see husbands gently pulling their wives under their embrace your heart longs.  There is a longing to join the "happily married" couples in their celebration and reminiscing.  You recall days when intimate conversations and trusting eyes were met with an open heart. The fear of never having those moments again grips and you let the moments move by. 

Sometimes I wonder why I am even participating in this "experience".  There is some shame that comes with being a Christian and experiencing difficulty in your marriage.  Some people shift and show other signs of discomfort when you share the place you are in.  You get the feeling you can't talk about the rough times while you are going through it. Yet through the shame and discouragement I hold on.  I hold on to God and his promises.  There is even a small part of me that holds on to the other promises that were made on that bright snowy morning 9.5 years ago.

Even though we are in the winter, I still look to the spring.  I look forward to the signs of new beginnings, rebirth and down pours of nourishment.  Just as the spring knows when to arrive, I know the next season will arrive just in time.

Join Ann Voskamp as she explores the spiritual practice of holy matrimony.

Gifted Hands

My hands are not gifted because I am a world famous artist or world renowned surgeon.  These simple brown and worn hands are gifted because they can do so much.  They have the potential to bring so much to my life and those around me.  At 5:00 this morning I held my newborn as she cried.  I was exhausted and wanted a few more minutes of sleep.  Still I picked her up and her cries sailed away.  How grateful I was at that moment to be able to soothe my baby by just my embrace.  

Thank you Lord for giving me hands that;

embrace and comfort my new born 

my eldest uses to wrap around himself

prepares meals for the family

attempts to keep up with the domestic demands of our home 

display surrender to You

communicate what is in my heart

What have your gifted hands been up to lately?


I'm a little late in joining Ann Voskamp at Holy Experience.  Nonetheless, thank you for the opportunity to share thanks!